Dear Maria: Not Enough Tops?
Dear Maria,
It’s so hard to find a great guy in my neighborhood that isn’t another bottom. Any suggestions on where I should go?
Sincerely,
Eric Smith
ANSWER
Hey Eric!
Thank you for writing in. I hope you’re having a great spring season so far. Now, I don’t wanna push the verse agenda, but there is always space for role exploration. I find with age that many gay men go through stages and, in fact, end up in opposite roles than what they started. It’s actually quite common to “become a top” in the later years. However, I wanna support all the loud and proud strict bottoms in standing firm in their role.
If you deep down don’t know if testing roles will never be for you then I ask you to still be open-minded to allowing another bottom to share an experience with you. ::Inserts Cardi & Meg Performance:: It seems like there are plenty of great guys in your area, but the issue is they are bottoms too. Maybe giving one of them a chance can spark something new that you would have never expected.
Believe me, two bottoms can have a great time sexually and there are plenty of bottoms that can be “Daddy.” Start getting creative with introducing toys and new forms of foreplay that you can test with a new bottom buddy. Be adventurous!
Also, I speak from experience when I say roles have nothing to do with how you present. I find many people in the community put expectations on a person’s role based on how they look. The reason I bring this up is that I want to be sure you really are open to all types of tops. Are you possibly overlooking some of the tops in your neighborhood?
Shout out to all the femme tops! Often times there is a room full of drag queens and vogueing divas who get overlooked because they are stereotyped as feminine because of their flamboyance. People assume them mostly to bottom and are sadly mistaken. There is a huge pool of femme tops delivering amazing dick on the daily! Trust me when I say it’s bomb ;) So update that bio/profile with an ALL TOPS WELCOME sign!!!
To answer your question, I don’t think there is any specific site or area where all the tops exist, but if I could suggest, I’d say it’s probably Bedstuy. Haha! Can you imagine regions broken down by type like Pokémon?! The girls would be out in the field, hunny!!! Gotta catch 'em all!
Good luck on the hunt! Report back! I wanna hear if you’re open to the suggestions.
– Maria
